No Before Times to Be Had: Part Four
What is self-diagnosis zealotry? Zealotry is excessive enthusiasm and an uncritical devotion to something. Who is a self-diagnosis zealot?
We will first back up a couple of steps on this to set the stage on this topic a bit more. Dr. Florence Ashley made the following recent observation on Twitter (it is such an excellent source for succinct quotes I find):
“I wonder what psychiatric diagnoses would be like if they tried to capture what it feels for the person instead of the aspects of it that are noticeable to and, especially, inconvenient [to] third parties.”
A self-diagnosis zealot is not exclusively a pure genesis from within—meaning outside forces shape the creation of zealotry when it comes to self-diagnosis. Keep in mind a zealous patient is still a zealot without power within the medical system.
Two main forces impact becoming a zealot when it comes to a diagnosis arrived at from your own investigation and assessment of data: 1) post-hoc diagnosis arising from random, usually self-implemented, interventions that alleviated or resolved symptoms, or 2) a certainty and zeal arrived at simply in response to so much pushback from practitioners regarding the “realness” of the symptoms.
For the zealot that backed into the diagnosis based on having tried a particular treatment that realized great improvements or resolution of the symptoms, they are only zealous if they fall prey to their own sense that their success must be shared to improve the lives of others in similar situations and/or they develop a dogmatic rejection of other therapies or approaches that have worked for others.
Apart from being tiresome or perhaps even offensive to others, is there really a down side to being this kind of self-diagnosis zealot? I believe there might be as chronic conditions have a way of sliding out from under things that once brought suitable relief or improvements. Checking the sense that you have succeeded in overcoming or resolving your condition in some definitive way protects others from finding you insufferable, but most importantly protects you from a potential bitter disappointment if, and more likely when, the solutions slip away and novel challenges in your chronic condition show up.
Back in the day, I hammered on the concept that remission from an eating disorder is a practice and not a cure or a static recovered state. This holds true for all chronic conditions.
By all means celebrate the win and relish the increased health that your solution brought to you. But be suspicious of any evangelical sense that this will be a solution for others and, in particular, stay calmly aware of the possibility that things might change for you in future.
Life is not well lived in binary extremes.
The zeal that is arrived at directly in response to practitioner disbelief and suspicion is more nuanced and has its value in certain circumstances.
Practitioners are gate-keepers and those with chronic conditions are well aware of this fact. And yes, of course there is wide variation on how practitioners keep the gate or hold the door.
Nonetheless, the ends may justify the means when it comes to a zealous and well-aligned presentation of symptoms along with a suitable cap-in-hand approach in case it is a practitioner who gets their knickers in a twist over a patient having an inadequate level of respect (in their minds) for their prodigious time spent memorizing things and going through hazing levels of sleep deprivation and debt for years to arrive at letters after their name.
In all seriousness, get thee a practitioner who does not require of you that “dumb down” your understanding of your own condition so that they might feel the power differential is intact. However, you cannot always choose the practitioner that you are going to have to engage.
The zealousness that arises from a patient working hard to be believed can be quite caustic for the patient if they internalize the disbelief of the practitioners. It is one thing to position the symptoms and experience in language that is likely going to connect with a practitioner and perhaps lower their bias, but try to keep it as a script and recognize that your symptoms and experience are valid and do not need validation.
What it feels like for you should remain your centre even if you have to adopt lingo, labels and terminology as a way to receive the care you inherently deserve. The label will never encompass the lived experience.
Next week in Part Five we are going to look at “using spoons” when seeking treatment.
